Hole.Io, The Game That Sucks... Literally

 

Image Credit: Nintendo

Have you ever dreamed of being a sentient black hole, rampaging through a city, swallowing everything in your path from unsuspecting pedestrians to entire skyscrapers? No? Well, neither did I. But then I played Hole.io on the Nintendo Switch, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

Gameplay: A Whole Lot of Hole
The premise of Hole.io is simple: you’re a hole. You start as a little baby hole and grow by consuming things smaller than yourself. At first, it’s just blades of grass, pigeons, and the occasional trash can. But soon enough, you're munching on cars, buildings, and entire parks, like a black hole with the munchies. The ultimate goal? Be the biggest, baddest hole in the city before time runs out. It’s a gloriously stupid concept, and I love it.

But let’s get something straight: Hole.io isn’t just about mindless devouring. It’s about strategic devouring. You have to plan your route, decide whether to go for a cluster of smaller objects or risk it all to squeeze through the tight alleyway to that sweet, delicious hot dog cart. (And yes, hot dogs are worth it. Always.)

Playing on the Switch feels... fine. The controls are straightforward. You just steer your hole using the joystick, and the game basically handles the rest. There’s no jump button, no attack button, no inventory to manage. Why? Because you’re a hole. Holes don’t need inventories. They just need to eat.

Graphics: Holesome Fun
Visually, Hole.io is... serviceable. The city is bright and colorful, the objects are cartoony and bouncy, and the whole thing looks like it could’ve been designed during a particularly inspired kindergarten art class. There’s nothing groundbreaking here, but that’s okay. You don’t need photorealistic graphics to enjoy watching a bus disappear into the void.

However, I do wish the people in the game had a little more personality. They just kind of wander around aimlessly, waiting to be eaten. No running, no screaming, no “oh no, a sentient hole is chasing me!” vibes. Come on, developers, give me some drama!

Image Credit: Nintendo

Modes: More Holes, More Problems
The Switch version of Hole.io comes with a few different game modes. There’s the classic Multiplayer Mode, where you compete against other players to become the biggest hole on the map. This mode is absolute chaos. One moment you’re the king of the neighborhood, gobbling up trees and cars with reckless abandon, and the next, some bigger jerk-hole swoops in and devours you. It’s like being back in high school.

Then there’s Solo Mode, where you can play against the clock, gobbling up as much as possible in a set amount of time. It’s less stressful than Battle Royale, but it’s also a little lonely. Except for the ever present AI that is barely active.  Being the only hole in the city is fun for about three minutes, and then you start wishing for a rival hole to spice things up.

Finally, there’s the Endless Hole Mode, where you Trash Goober your surroundings for eternity, slightly like the Superbowl Party for Kansas City if Taylor Swift isn't there to judge. 

Music and Sound: A Black Hole of Silence
The sound design in Hole.io is... minimalistic. There’s some cheerful background music, a few satisfying “pop” sounds when you devour something, and the occasional whooshing noise when you level up. That’s it. No dramatic orchestral score, no sound effects for the terrified citizens, no ominous rumble when you swallow an entire skyscraper. It’s fine, I guess, but I can’t help but feel like the game is missing an opportunity here. Imagine a Jaws-style theme that plays whenever a bigger hole gets near you. Terrifying.

The Switch Experience: A Mixed Bag
Here’s the thing about Hole.io on the Switch: it’s fun, but it’s also kind of a mess. The game runs smoothly most of the time, but every now and then, the framerate takes a nosedive, especially when there are too many holes on the screen. And let me tell you, nothing ruins your day like watching your beautiful, hungry hole stutter across the screen like it’s had one too many cups of coffee.

Highlights: The Hole-y Grail of Weirdness
Despite its flaws, Hole.io is a genuinely hilarious game. There’s something absurdly satisfying about watching an entire city block collapse into your void of doom. And the fact that you’re doing this with no explanation, no backstory, and no consequences just makes it even better.

One of my favorite moments happened during a particularly heated Multiplayer match. I was neck-and-neck with another player, both of us racing to devour the same skyscraper. Just as I was about to claim my prize, they came out of nowhere, swallowed the building, and then immediately ate me. I sat there in stunned silence, controller in hand, questioning every decision I’d ever made. It was beautiful.

Final Thoughts: Is Hole.io Worth Your Time?
If you’re looking for a deep, meaningful gaming experience with complex characters and a rich narrative, Hole.io is not for you. But if you want to turn your brain off and spend 20 minutes pretending to be a sentient black hole, devouring everything in sight, then this game is absolutely worth it.

Sure, the Switch version has its issues. The graphics are basic, the online multiplayer is janky, and the framerate hiccups are annoying. But at the end of the day, none of that really matters. Because Hole.io isn’t about perfection. It’s about chaos. It’s about destruction. It’s about watching a family of tourists get swallowed whole and thinking, “Yeah, I did that.”

So, is Hole.io a masterpiece? No. But is it fun? Absolutely. And really, what more do you need from a game where you play as a literal hole?

Score: 7/10
A game that’s as ridiculous as it is entertaining. Just don’t expect it to fill the hole in your heart.